I have been thinking about the ‘suddenlies’ of life lately. Several events in the past few months have gotten me thinking about the things we have no control over. First, a friend of my husbands was murdered. It was an awful act of violence in our small town of Boone. John was one of the ministers that help with the funeral. What do you say to a wife, children, parents and siblings whose loved one is so violently whisked away from them? Second, this past weekend, one of John’s friends he grew up with in church and school died in his sleep. Both of these situations hit so close to home. Neither was planned for or could have been prevented.
I’ve been asking the Lord how I can prepare for the ‘suddenlies’ of life. One of my personal ‘suddenlies’ came in 1994. John was losing his job, our rent was going up on the house we were living in, and I found out I was pregnant with my third child in 3 years. These all happened within a 1-2 month period and this after I had already broken a vertebrae in my back at the beginning of the year and had bells palsy. What the heck was going on? Overwhelmed?–just a little. But the real ‘suddenly’ came when I went to a routine pre-natal Dr. appointment at the end of October of that year and they could find no heart beat. My precious James had died at 18 weeks gestation. The feelings of devastation, failure, grief, and why were enough to crush me. Hadn’t I been through enough this year? What was the point? Why do people say such stupid things to people in grief?
Looking back I realized some very important life lessons were learned that year. I had to grow up in some areas that I was very immature. I realized I could get through some very tough things and not be bitter. I realized I had a reservoir of my Heavenly Fathers truth, grace, love and mercy buried inside of me that I didn’t know existed. It took some adverse circumstances to allow them come out but they were there. The one truth I have held onto from that time is that God is in control. I know that seems glib. but it is a truth that rooted even deeper into my heart. Good or seemingly bad, God is the giver and taker of life, He alone knows what is happening and going to happen. He has a game plan for my life and those around me. I also realized there are not always satisfactory answers to every question in life. However, this has become one of my greatest joys in life–the secret things of God–there are just going to be some things in this life that we will never understand or comprehend. I have had other ‘suddenlies’ in life since 1994. I am thankful God prepared my heart as much as possible to help me through those tough times. I am still working through some of those, but I know God has a plan.
A Net of Hope 