A picture embedded in my heart and mind is me as a little girl swinging in the back yard. I am pumping my legs, going as high in the sky as I can possibly get. I am singing at the top of my lungs, “Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day! I’ve got a beautiful feeling, everything’s going my way!”
I often return to that memory when life is difficult and seems too heavy to carry. I can still feel the sun on my face, the motion of my legs, long, golden blonde hair trialing behind me, the wooden seat, the rough chains on my hands…a stop motion for all eternity.
Carefree…
Innocent…
Pure JOY…
A little girl safe in her world and surrounded by love and belonging. Just now I sat back in my chair, coffee in hand, eyes closed, transported in time to that moment. Different this time, instead of watching from the brick pathway in our yard, I climbed back on the swing and saw the world from that little girls perspective. Tears flowed as I gazed up into clear blue skies, birds singing with me, the clamor of the apartments surrounding our home in Chiayi silenced, a song rising up from my belly…
I have never participated in the tradition of Lent. I was going to give up sugar or chocolate for Lent but instead I’m giving up holding onto anger. It feels good to let go. It is not easy to let go of something that has become so familiar. I am allowing myself to feel it, move through it and release the anger when it comes, because it does come and will continue to come as long as I have breath.
When you give something up, a void is left and something will fill the void. I am choosing to fill the void with swinging and sliding. I work with four and five-year old children. We have a slide on our playground. I haven’t gone down the slide everyday, but I am making a conscious effort to go down the slide. I am making a choice to be surrounded by love and belonging.
The slide…
The swing…
Oh what a beautiful morning!
Oh, what a beautiful day!
I’ve got a beautiful feeling…
A Net of Hope 